


Stupid Portals

by HotPantsLadyD



Category: Lady Deadpool - Fandom, Spider-Gwen (Comics), Spider-Woman (Comic), spideypool - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 18:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3739771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HotPantsLadyD/pseuds/HotPantsLadyD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's just a thing I wote for twitter. </p><p>Lady Deadpool meets Spider Gwen</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stupid Portals

"Ahh!! This is why I hate porrrttttaaallllss!! " I screamed falling from the sky.  
{I told you this was a bad idea }  
[We're gonna die! This is it. This is How we go. Falling to another dimension. ]  
"This is going to hurt like hell! "  
Seeing the ground below becoming closer and closer fast, watching the tall builds pass me as I free fall. I closed my eyes waiting for the impact followed by the horrible pain. When unexpectedly something, rope like, But sticky wrapped around my leg. The jolt from the sudden stop and the weight of my body caused my hip to dislocated, and my ankle to snap. 

"Whoo! Safe! Hot damn im not a street pancake!"  
{What the hell? }  
[Spiderman?! ]  
"Wait Spidey is in this dimension too?! "  
I twist to try to see if Spiderman is close by, But not Seeing the familiar colored suits. I look up at the web around my ankle, as I hung upside down, I pulled out a knife and cut the web falling the 4 feet to the ground.  
"Owie!! Oh God that hurts!" I laughed laying down on my back as my leg healed.  
[I'm not Seeing him...are you two?]  
{Nope not Spidey, or O'Hara. Don't see Kaine ether }  
"Let's be real Kaine would let us fall, But I see a Spider on the street light. " I squint starring up at the light only Seeing a shadow. "I see you, Spiderman. Might as Well come help a damsel in distress? " I called up to the shadow figure. The mystery Spider stood up on the light, doing a flip and landing beside me. I see the white suit the clung beautifully to a womanly figure.  
"I can assure you I am not Spider man. " the woman stood looking down at me, arms crossed with her hip cocked to the side. I stood up, quickly taking her hands into mine.  
"Of course not you're an angel! Beautiful white Spidey suit...wait a minute. You're in a Spidey suit. You shoot webs. You're clearly not a man. But a woman." Smacks my fists down into my other palm. "I got it! Spider woman. "  
"That's what they call me."  
"Well my little Spider, you are beautiful. I can tell even threw the mask, I'm good at that"  
{Wanda you're rambling! Stop it}  
"Ah!..I am not! I'm talking to a beautiful Spider. Oh! But I haven't introduced myself. I'm Lady Deadpool But you can call me babe. " I Bowed, winking at her threw my mask.  
Gwen takes a step back.(Hey readers. I don't know Spider woman is Gwen. But for the sake of an easy story I'll be using her real name. But keep in mind her identity is still secret to me. Alright back to the story.) uncomfortable.  
"Uh... or not. But I'm out of here. " she shoots a web as as quickly as she came she was gone.  
"Damn! I should have put a ring on her."  
[Whooo ohh ohh whooo Oh Oh ]  
I danced like Beyonce as me and the one voice sang.  
{You two are idiots }  
"We have to stay here for a while guys. I got to know her. Let's go see where we are" I turn around to face the city starting to laugh  
[Home? ]  
{Well...Manhattan anyways }  
"Well let's go see who's living in our apartment in this verse. If it's empty. It's our new home. Otherwise hotel here we come! " I turn on my toes and walk down the street towards where my apartment would be in my dimension.  
[This is pretty trippy. Everything is the same]  
{Yet different all at the same time.}  
"Reminds me of Bioshock How Elizabeth can open tears. I just hope there is no songbird that thing is a pain in the ass."  
[Oh God what about the patriot's?! ]  
{Or the handyman. Those things were a pain in the ass!}  
"Oh Goddess not worse than the stupid houdini splicers!"  
I come up to the building.  
"Alright... now How to get up to the 6th floor" I start looking threw my pouches pulling out ice picks.  
"These should totally work right?"  
[No idea ]  
"Well, let us try!! " I Start to use the ice picks, as I climb up the brick wall of the apartment.  
"See this is when I really wish It was me who was biting by the radioactive Spider. This would be soo much easier! "  
[Plus it would be so much faster.]  
After a good 15 minutes or so of scaling up the wall I finally get to the right window. I Peek inside.  
[It's to dark ]  
{They're probably sleeping. }  
"If someone lives in there "  
Still trying to see into the dark apartment, I start to lift up the window. To my surprise it's unlocked.  
"Excellent! " I thought to myself as I slowly started to raise the window. Climbing in. I had just finished crawling threw the window when the lights turned on.  
{Busted}  
[Ah! Bright light bright light! ]  
"Shhhh, I need to borrow your car " I quickly say to the young adult standing only a few feet away 

"Excuse me? " he spoke rubbing his eye. "Who are you?"  
"I'm your best nighmare. But seriously car now " I walked towards him "I'm a…err.. hero so I need your car"  
"If you're a hero why do you need my car? Plus I don't know who the hell you are. Why would I give you the keys to my baby? " he glared at me  
"I just want to let you know I tried. I tried to be nice. And sweat But Nooo! " I pulled out my m16a4 and point it at him. He's hands instantly go up in the air. "Keys. Now. " without a word he picked up he's car keys off the coffee table and threw them at me. I caught them.  
"Thanks you're such a Lamb" I blew him a kiss then ran out his front door.  
{Wow. If I could clap I would very clapping sarcastically right now.}  
[Why did we steal his car]  
"I don't know. I panicked. On the plus we now have wheels so stop complaining. "  
{And why do we need a car? Where are we going? }  
"I don't know okay! Holy cheese on leaves! Get off my back already! " I yelled at the voice as I ran down the hall, then down the stairs to the parking garage. 

"Alright. Where's this /baby/ of his..." I said walking threw the underground. Pressing the button on the key chain.  
{OU! up there! There's the lights! }  
"Jack pot! " I jogged to the car with the blinking lights.  
"THIS is his baby?! "  
[Wow... it's...it's.….]  
{A piece of shit.}  
[Yeah……]  
"Definitely... what the Fuck is this? Half truck half Fucking van. Seriously? He expects me to drive this?! Naw Nope no way not about this life. "  
I toss the keys behind me and walked away, from the horrid thing of a vehicle.  
[We're really gonna walk? ]  
{Wait a minute. You stole his keys for nothing?! }  
"Yes, and definitely. I mean I was gonna take it But apparently that guy likes driving car wrecks. Plus we're in new York! It won't be that hard to ran into trouble, to see that beautiful Spider again! "  
[But where do you think we should look first? ]  
Just then There's an explosion in the downtown area, practically right on cue.  
{That's almost scary How coincidental that was.}  
"There is a giant taco in the sky watching over us! Let's go boys and girls. We got a Spider to see" I start to run down the street towards the explosion. As I get closer to downtown, I can hear people screaming and this horrible growl like sound in the distance.  
{That sounds big.}  
[Like Godzilla big]  
{Not that big}  
"Like a bear size creature " I continued to run. Finally reaching the explosion site. There not to far in front of my is in fact a giant bear like creature. With it's back to me.  
{Wow you were right }  
"Here nice bear, easy boy.. easy " I called out to him softly. The creature turns around showing me it's face.  
{[WHAT IS THAT THING?! ]}  
"That's a face even a mother couldn't love! " I said in disgust. The creature had a human face, But everything else was definitely bear like. It had blood smeared all over it's face, once it was fully facing me it let out a vicious growl and started to charge at me. I quickly pull out my katanas are charge back, slicing at it's leg's. It ran past me as I dodged his attack as my blades made contact with the bears leg. It roared in pain. I took this time to run and jump up on is shoulder's. Stabbing my katanas into his back to use them as handles as the bear with a human face thrashes around trying to get me off. I let go of one of the swords pulling out my sawed off shot gun, cocking it with one hand, and putting it to the back of it's head.  
"Shh Shh Wanda is here now I'll put you to sleep now free of charge. "  
I pulled the trigger. Spraying it's blood and brains everywhere. The creature fell forward as I released my blades from his back, kicking off him and landing with my hands in the air  
"Thank you thank you. I know my performance was..amazing! Spectacular! Superior! The ultimate performance! "  
"Seriously?.. that was disgusting. You're covered in blood and.…is the pieces of brains?... ugh I think I'm gonna be sick " she hunched over holding her stomach with one hand covering her masked face. I spun around  
"My little Spider!! " I squealed running over and hugging her  
"Please don't touch me, no let go. I'm seriously gonna throw up." Gwen tried to push me away But my grip wasnt budging.  
"I've been searching for you"  
"Ever think to look up?"  
"What? " I questioned her holding her at arms distance.  
"Well you fell threw a portal. I didn't know if you were good or bad...I'm still not sure."  
"So you've been following me? Aww it was love at first sight! "  
"Whoa wait! What?! No!"  
"It's alright your secret is safe with me"  
"Right.. Well..I'm going home now.. " Gwen spoke walking away. This time I quickly followed. Grabbing her hand as we walked down the street  
"Let me wash my suit are your place? "  
"What? Why? Can't you wash it else where? "  
"Nope. And cause I'm covered in human bear brains."  
"Ugh! Fine I guess "  
"Whooo! Going back to my spider's place! Gonna get it on!! "  
"Highly unlikely Deadpool. "  
"Deadpool is my male counterpart. Please just Wanda to you. "  
"Right.. Wanda."  
We walked hand in hand down the street


End file.
